Displaced, more comfortable with idler leisure, I know,
But to walk with you pleases me.

Bandur walks too much. It is probably nothing serious—certainly nothing that could not be treated with the right, personality-enhancing drugs. Perhaps he will grow out of it; then again, there is reason to suspect that he will not:

Bandur fancies himself an envoy to the un-walking world. More than exercise or entertainment, his pedestrianism is predicated on the belief that by his own, smiling, promenading example he will encourage ambulation in others, such as the world has never known. This idea, that the very sight of his tan, hale person, gleaming with sweat and folly, would attract women to walk with him and men to walk like him, is, of course, nothing short of deranged; however, Bandur cannot but cast knowing looks on those whom he sees traveling the same paths that he himself frequents. It was much the same way with the bus. Bandur considered it his civic duty to sit handsomely at the bus stop, eyeing the passing commuters, seducing them to use public transportation. Sadly, the Siren of Santa Monica's Big Blue Bus has retired the position, for the time being.

Bandur's habits find unfortunate encouragement in the absurd number of drivers who pull over to ask directions of him. On a recent series of six walks, Bandur came to the aid of no fewer than four lost persons. Given that one might easily run the full course of one's life and die before encountering a pedestrian in the suburbs of Los Angeles, we can only wonder how many days these people had circled before finally happening upon Bandur. And imagine how he must feel, freeing four souls from purgatory in six days; Bandur will never stop walking now.

Which is where the hecklers come in. Inexplicably, people in cars—at least the ones who are not lost—enjoy tormenting pedestrians—or Bandur specifically. (Even less explicable are the ones who try to scare the pedestrian by sneaking up and shouting at him from a running automobile.) If the hecklers are not enough to discourage him, there is the sad fact that anyone walking to meet women had best fancy homeless ladies. And then there are the disproportionately large numbers of other walkers whom Bandur has found crying—a little too real for an idle jaunt that is supposed to turn up pretty women, with homes.

It remains to be seen whether Bandur will ever stop being an embarrassment to himself and others—of course, the walking is really just the tip of the iceberg. In the meantime, please do always know where you are going before getting into your car.

- Bandur, August 4, 2004